Chapter 4.0 - Total Imperfection

How to begin? Where to begin? When the mind is not in total harmony with the heart, there are a lot of crazy things can go on. Endless ramblings, senseless nagging, no sense of direction to where and when it will stop. Lets just begin where the emotion is totally strong now, and from time to time, will jump from one topic to the other. Try to catch up.

What is bad about a person who is a total observant and thinker, one notices everything and one thinks why is it like that? As an observant, one can base it on patterns. Basing it on the past experiences and gather the data and give an educated guess on what the hell is happening in the universe. So what has happened and has been observed? When you try to make it perfect for someone, you always tend to fail. You plan everything, but the plan doesn't go out too well. Okay, not too well is not the term, a disaster. I try so hard to make everything perfect for your special someone and yet it ends up in failure. At first really i didn't care. Nobody is perfect right? But when something is becoming to repetitive, then there is something really wrong with you. A friend of mine told me that if you have noticed that you are going in circles and you are not doing anything about it, well...YOU MUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Its like, you know that there is something wrong and you are not doing anything about it. What will happen if you are not doing anything about it? Recently, i just noticed that I may be a total failure. Well not totally but to some extent, there is always something that i can not do right. In the phrase of the Filipinos, "hari ng sablay." No matter how hard i try to make a day perfect, no matter how hard i try to please someone, at one point or another will end up in a failure. I don't know, maybe i was born with the mark of "LOSER" or "TOTAL ASS FAILURE" on my forehead. I don't know if I did anything right in my life.

Hi! My name is Anonymous, and I'm a keen observer